{Bitter} Sweet Escape: Brides & Butterfly Kisses April 25, 2008

THIS POST CONTAINS BIG NEWS SO DON’T MISS IT!

Sometimes life is bittersweet. I don’t know how many of you cry your eyes out when you hear the song Butterfly Kisses, but I do. Maybe I’m overly sentimental, but I cry about this song as much as I cry over Father of the Bride movies. I’m a daughter, of course, but I am also the mom of two daughters. I would put the video here but it is restricted, so if you want to cry along with me (come on, I know some of you want to…), you can click here. Go ahead, I’ll wait…I’m listening to it myself right now, and tears are already falling in my keyboard.

When I hear “Butterfly Kisses” I shut my eyes and memories of my beautiful little girls run through my mind…

As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes
And I thank God for all of the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all for…

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Stickin’ little white flowers all up in her hair
“Walk beside the pony Daddy, it’s my first ride
I know the cake looks funny Daddy but I sure tried”

It doesn’t matter if I am in an elevator, the grocery store or in the car, this song gets me every time. Big tears well up in my eyes, my lip starts quivering and my life as a mom flashes before my eyes… I see my little girls, their long eyelashes fluttering on mine as they kissed me goodnight, I see them giggling, riding ponies, dancing around in princess dresses, I can feel their chubby five year old arms wrapped tenderly around my neck, their soft cheek on my cheek, and suddenly in the blink of an eye they are 7, 8, 9, 10, 13, sweet sixteen…

Sweet sixteen today
And she’s lookin’ like her mamma a little more every day
One part woman, the other part girl
To perfume and make-up, from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world
But I remember…

Then comes the part of the song where I actually start wailing out loud…

She’ll change her name today
and she’ll make a promise and I’ll give her away
Standing in the bride room just staring at her
She asked me what I’m thinking and I said “I’m not sure,
I just feel like I’m losing my baby girl”
And she leaned over…and gave me…

Butterfly kisses with her mamma there
Stickin’ little white flowers all up in her hair
“Walk me down the aisle Daddy, it’s just about time
Does my wedding gown look pretty Daddy? Daddy don’t cry”

Right now, as I am listening to this part of the song, the words sink into my heart like never before because this August I will be seeing my little girl, my oldest daughter, walk down the aisle as (ok, choking back the big tears now) a beautiful bride.

There. I said it. My daughter is engaged. After four years of dating this young man, with our permission and blessing, he asked her to be his wife. Along with a beautiful ring, he presented her with the only flowers he has ever given her. He had told her when they started dating that he would only give flowers to the girl he was going to marry, and true to his commitment, the night he proposed he showered his bride-to-be with five dozen roses. He is a keeper.

She tried on wedding dresses last weekend (yes, I cried when they put a veil on her head) and as she stood up on the platform, some ladies gathered around her in awe, saying she looked just like a porcelain doll. She is a china doll. That was my baby up on the platform, wearing that veil, my first born, and I have to give her away. Life will change forever when she walks down that aisle. It will be bittersweet.

Truly, we are so happy for her, so proud of her, so pleased about her fiance and their plans. They are an amazing young couple. But I have to admit this is tough on her dad and me. Because we remember those butterfly kisses like they were only yesterday.

Stay tuned, I’m sure there will be more tears to come. But happy tears. Happy tears.

Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle

Style Tips: The Unmade Bed Look April 15, 2008

One of my mentors is Alexandra Stoddard, as many of you know by now (click here for more info on that little tidbit about me). One of the things I remember her saying in one of her books is that she is an advocate of the “unmade bed look.“

What this means is not necessarily that you don’t make your bed, but that you allow the layers of your bedding to show in some way. Allowing the details of the sheets to informally peek out from a coverlet or fold over a quilt is simply more inviting and welcoming than covering it all up with a bedspread. Not only does the bed look like it is ready to crawl back into (good idea), but it is not so stiff and formal that it feels untouchable.

• Showing the layers, including pillows and pillow shams, gives you the opportunity to showcase your personal style through the pieces you have selected.
• Conversely, the details you like in bedding provide clues to your style personality.

Do you like ruffly sheets? Flowered ones? Striped top sheets and solid bottom sheets? Or all matching yellow sheets? Bright or pastels? Are you drawn to fluffy down blankets or do you prefer coverlets? Stiff pillows or squishy ones? Lots of pillows or few pillows?

Each detail reveals something about you. Even if you aren’t a fan of the “Unmade Bed Look” having a formal bed with relatively stiff covers and few wrinkles allowed says something about your style!

So tell me, how would you describe your style, based on YOUR bed’s look (or better yet, the DREAM look if you could have the look you want?) I can’t wait to find out!

My own unmade bed.

I actually DO make the bed every day. I just like the more casual look of a less formally styled bed when it is made.

I’ll go first with an assessment of myself, based on my current bedding. Because I know you are all dying to know. I’d say my bedding says I am practical (as I do not own multiple sets of fancy patterned sheets, just one set of high thread count plain soft cream colored sheets that I wash and put right back on!). But I am not too practical as my matelasse coverlet is soft cream colored too. A creamy neutral like that is a bit risky with kids and dogs climbing all over it. Also, I could have several sets of inexpensive sheets but I would rather have one expensive higher quality set. Hmmm, sheet snob. My coverlet, shams and pillowcases have a subtle pattern and texture. This shows I like detail but not over the top detail. I like detail to surprise you and unfold rather than always screaming out for attention. That is my personality too, I have my moments of exuberance but I also have my quiet subtle side.

My choices show that I need a soothing environment for the bedroom without too much pattern on the bed. But, I do have a boldly striped sham on the bed so I guess that shows that I like a punch of color in a sea of creamy ones. Again, I see that tension between my practical side and my more daring side. I have two European shams for the back of the headboard, and the one striped sham and one accent pillow. Not a ton of pillows but enough to make it cozy and soften the hard edges of the bed frame. I’m a cozy person, but a restrained cozy! My coverlet and shams are not foofy but my bed is an old fashioned iron bed, so I guess I am a more tailored romantic. I make the bed with some perfection (I like the coverlet to be straight, for instance), but I never iron my sheets.) Perfectly imperfect is a good description of my style preference.

My description of my style based on my bedding also shows that I am a very WORDY person. I talk a lot. See how much we can learn from this exercise?

Now, how about you?

Photo: Coastal Living online William Minarich

Style Tips: Everyday On Display March 5, 2008

Coastal Living online

You really do not have to have a ton of decorations, craft items or expensive collections to make a house personal, pretty or feel “finished.” Really, you don’t! I noticed upon arrival last summer in blogland that many bloggers have tons of accessories and collections! Decorating a home by buying collections, art and/or hand making creative home accessories is a big hobby for some folks. That is great, but not everyone wants to spend money to buy decorative collectibles or has the time and creativity to fill up their home with hand made crafts.

So what are we to do if we fall into the “I don’t want to spend a lot OR create everything by hand” category? It can seem like a lonely desperate situation to be in if you look at blogs for inspiration! But don’t despair! There are other solutions. Trust me, somehow I manage just fine in that lonely category!

Living Etc. via This is Glamorous, scarves and clothing add color and style

Here is my style tip for the day:

It is not necessary to spend lots of money OR be crafty in order to have a beautiful or personalized home. You just need everyday items.

Simply by utilizing things you DO have and actually use everyday your authentic style can shine through. Being somewhat practical, I love the idea of diplaying useful items as decorations. By having pretty things to use, you have the joy of finding beauty in every day activities (and you know I like that idea) AND your house magically becomes attractive, without trying too hard to “decorate.” That idea always appeals to me. I love the look of beauty that is more natural, evolving and less contrived.

When you have things in your home that are pretty colors, shapes, textures or patterns, find creative ways to have them out in the open! Just group them together on shelves (even inexpensive shelves with brackets can look amazing), or in glass fronted cabinets, open armoires, or even just out on hooks. Everyday items can function as art. The subtlety of it can be very striking. Almost appearing like a “happy accident” rather than a “Hey, look how hard I tried to decorate this shelf” kind of look.

I am a big fan of the bulletin boards. They keep paper clutter confined and can make an artistic statement all at the same time! Love that.

Creative Bulletin Board, Domino Magazine online

Re-purposing Shutters for display, Martha Stewart Online

Save closed storage for less than attractive items and clutter. If you have too many things in sight, you will suffer with a lack of visual serenity and the whole look will be chaotic. Be selective in what is out for public view. Strike a balance between accessories on display and breathing room.

Having things on display that you actually use rather than just look at is efficient, and cost-saving (because it is a dual-purpose item rather than just a decorative piece), not to mention completely authentic! Group things by color, shape or purpose just like you would display a priceless but basically useless collection.

Add shelves in any room to add personality and opportunity for your style to be showcased. Pretty dishes can look so homey on an open shelf or in a glass fronted cabinet.

Coastal Living Online

Re-purpose furniture to display every day items. By mixing everyday accessories with furniture intended for other display purposes you create art! Try a bookcase stacked with towels in a bathroom or a library cabinet with glass doors to showcase purses and pretty shoes in the bedroom.

Living Etc. via This is Glamorous, using library shelves for clothing

Baskets or clear glass jars can be filled with everyday necessities to make a decorative statement. Even cotton balls can look amazing in a glass jar from a discount retailer like Home Goods!

Domino Magazine Online

Don’t have pretty everyday things? Well, you need them! You really do! Why drink out of an ugly cup when you can sip out of a pretty one? If you are on a budget (let’s face it, most of us are or should be on a budget!) start shopping at resale, thrift and discount stores for your basic necessities like cups and bowls in pretty shapes and colors. The key here is that attractive doesn’t necessarily mean expensive. That is a big fat lie so don’t fall for it.

Over time, I implore you to start replacing ugly everyday necessities with attractive things. Then you’ll be happy every time you pull a pretty cereal bowl off the shelf for breakfast. I’d much rather have a pretty cereal bowl than a useless object d’art sitting on a shelf. Even simple white dishes can be very attractive. Truth is, I don’t own a bunch of fancy schmancy dishes. I have a set of simple French Countryside Mikasa creamy dishes I use for every day and special occasions. I love them for their simple beauty.

Pretty everyday dishes, Coastal Living Online

Every day items hung on wall, Martha Stewart Online

When faced with a blank wall or empty shelf, ask yourself what every day items you could bring out to create art! What you choose to display will showcase your personality. Chic or antique, colorful or neutral, plain or fancy everyday items will set the stage for your authentic style.

This is another tip worth considering: You don’t need to find a trendy or popular accessory to have style. Just because everyone else has something in their house doesn’t mean you need it in yours. In fact, if you see something in everyone else’s house or on everyone else’s blog, you might want to reconsider having it in yours. Just sayin’, it’s something to consider. Trendy is not a personal style, trendy is often just imitating someone else’s style. And trendy becomes expensive and time-consuming when you try to keep up with what everyone else is in love with at the moment. Just sayin’. Trendy is fine, if that is what you love, but I prefer something more personal and longer lasting. That’s just me.

Consider creative ways to display every day items like:

Aprons
Art supplies
Pantry Items
Oils & Vinegars
Fruits & Veggies
Baskets
Cookbooks
Pots, Pans, Baking Dishes
Towels
Clothes
Dress Shoes
Scarves
Jewelry
Purses
Towels
Coffee mugs
Plates
Decorative Books
Trays
Pitchers
Serving Pieces
Vases

 

Pantry items on spice racks, Domino Magazine Online

 

Practical items like placemats, everyday dishes, cookbooks and trays fill shelves

Coastal Living Online

Fruit, oils, spoons and bowls all on display. Southern Living Online

Southern Living Online, great use of shelves in nook in front of window! Tuck display shelves into unused corners and nooks to display vases, bowls and serving dishes.

Having a personalized and beautiful home is as often simple
as putting everyday items on display.

Sweet Escape: Valentine’s Day February 9, 2008

Wishing you and your honey were heading to a quaint B&B for Valentine’s Day? Dreaming of boarding a plane to Paris for a romantic getaway? Needing a day of relaxation and pampering at a spa?

Yeah, me too, but most of us only dream about those kinds of experiences. Real life is usually not that romantic or dreamy. If you have kids at home or a shortage of funds (or both), any dream of a real Sweet Escape this Valentine’s Day will likely result in disappointment (or will at least require a lowering of expectations.)

Finding contentment and creative solutions in the life we have is part of finding beauty everyday. We can’t all pack our bags and head off on romantic getaways, but if we rev up our creativity, Valentine’s Day can be anything we imagine it to be! Need some inspiration? Check out The Inspired Room at CWO this month!

Order Before Beauty February 4, 2008

I’ve invited my friend, Brandie “The Home Office Organizer” to give us some tips where to get started on living a beautiful life. It all begins with getting organized. It is very difficult to see, appreciate or focus on beauty every day when your home or office is in disarray. Disorder affects our creativity, productivity and our sense of peace about life. It brings about frustration rather than contentment. Creating order and systems for our belongings is a way of finding beauty that we can appreciate in our day to day activities.

Welcome, Brandie!

Have you ever felt overwhelmed and not known why? Take a look around your room right now. Are you able to find everything you need, when you need it? Do you know where your keys are? What about your last bank statement? Your child’s last school picture? If you don’t know where these things are, how does it make you feel?

I wasn’t “born organized”, but I love helping people create order and beauty in their homes and home offices. Home offices are dear to my heart, as it is where my life changed (and my career as a Professional Organizer began) several years ago. I took control of my home and home office and created a place where my family can make memories and my creativity can flow. You can do the same thing. Here are some tips and resources to get you moving in the right direction.

Three Things You Need To Know

About Getting Organized

1. “Organized” simply means you can find what you need in 5 minutes or less.

Isn’t that wonderful? Every person has a different personality, way of learning, living and working. No one organization system will solve everyone’s problems (no matter what their marketing or commercials say). There are so many products out there, and you are bound to find the perfect one for you! Also, don’t be afraid to let you creativity out to play!
If you like electronics, use a PDA or Outlook for your calendar.
If you like more attractive and personalized things, consider a russell+hazel product.

You can even make your organization tools and storage containers! Try these:

Lid Rack as a mail sorter

Clothespin Labels

Stationery box

Using things from around the house

Organizing kids’ activities

Book Recommendation: “Organizing For Your Brain Type” by Lanna Nakone

2. Order clears your mind and frees you up to become the person you are meant to be.

There’s a lot to be said for simplifying your life. Having a little emptry space in your life frees up corners for other things to come in. It doesn’t mean you have to give up everything you love. It means you look at your life and your space and “edit” out what you don’t love or use, leaving you with your most prized possessions. Your home and home office should reflect you and your family.

In her book, “Time Alive”, Alexandra Stoddard’s chapter, “Order Precedes Beauty” says:

“Without order there is no beauty. Living can be a messy business. The more engaged we are in living fully and well, the more stuff we seem to accumulate. We live in an orderly universe. Our homes and offices need to be kept orderly so we can spend our time in beautiful spaces that answer all our needs, arranged so that everything is both practical and uplifting.”

The act of simplifying and organizing means we value the beauty in our life, and allow it to show through in a place of honor. Living our life consciously in this way illuminates the path of our life and inspires us to move forward.

Book Recommendation: “Time Alive” by Alexandra Stoddard

3. Organization is a process of establishing habits, not an event.

I picked up the phone, and the woman on the other end had questions about my services and how I could help her. When I got to the part about how long the project would actually take in hours, there was stunned silence on the other line. I couldn’t blame her - it does take a while! In our microwave, drive-thru, instant gratification world, we sometimes forget things worth doing take time. It also doesn’t help when your three year old is throwing a fit over not eating her peas, the laundry is slowly spilling over into the hallway and about 30 minutes before bed, you learn your son’s science project is due in the morning. It can be too much some times!

So, here’s the good news - you don’t have to do it all today or even this weekend. The average American woman spends 55.2 minutes a day looking for things they need (according to a Real Simple study in 2003). What if you spent 10 minutes everyday working on one corner of your home office? Sort thru that corner and decide what goes, and what stays. How soon could you get that 55.2 minutes of your life back?

Bonus Girlfriends Tip: If you’re feeling extra motivated: invite a friend over, put the tea kettle on the stove, plug in a movie and get going. Rotate homes and repeat. What if you did this every month for a year? How different would your home look by this time next year? Imagine the possibilities!

Book recommendation: “Real Simple: The Organized Home”

One of the worst things about disorganization is the small pieces of joy which are taken from you. Life gets busy, and things can pile up. It’s all part of life, and it’s messy sometimes. Take time out every once in a while to re-evaluate and get things back into order - whatever that means for you.

If you’re a visual person, use pretty file folders for keeping your action paper in check (To Do, Bills To Pay, To Read, etc.).

If you like things to be a little easier, just label a box “Important Papers” and toss in statements, insurance information and other records (use a new one for each year).

Organization is a tool, and should be used to make your life better, not to make it more stressful. As long as you can find what you need in 5 minutes or less, use what works for you. I know you can do it!

About the author
Brandie Kajino, The Home Office Organizer, is a dynamic speaker, author and professional organizer. Brandie organizes home offices for home-based professionals. Her website offers resources, articles, services and a blog to help home office professionals get organized and simplify life.

Visit her web site at www.thehomeofficeorganizer.com or her blog at www.organize-simplify-transform.com.

top photo: Russell + Hazel

The Home Office Saga. Crying involved. January 22, 2008

No pain, no gain, right? Isn’t that how the saying goes? Redecorating, remodeling or re-arranging is sometimes downright painful! If it isn’t the mess involved, the frustration of the decisions, or the expense of it all, it is the emotional torment or battle that can go along with change. But, as with everything that is worthwhile, you sometimes have to suffer a bit for the cause. Isn’t that the truth?! I am suffering just a bit right now because of a little project I am working on. Ok, I’m suffering a lot. Sniff! I’ll tell you about that in a minute. I’ve got to grab my Kleenex first.

Some of you (at least all three of you who were reading my blog back in August!) will remember that I announced my exciting plans for a new master suite! The entire third floor of our house is going to become our retreat from the world! A bedroom for my hubby and me, an office for me, a boutique style closet with chandeliers and storage galore… Sound dreamy? Well, I’m still dreaming. Life happens and I have been too busy to actually get that project going.

How you girls manage to whip out so many home-improvement projects — like repainting all of your furniture — showing us how you did it step-by-step in photos on your blog and still manage to cook something for dinner in your cute little apron is a mystery to me! I seem to run out of hours in the day before I get to do anything pretty around my own house. And if I do manage a little project, I forget to feed my son dinner. Oops! I usually realize it when he is eating his sixth bowl of cereal. Bless his little heart, he finds his own meals sometimes.

Here is what transpired over at my house this week. My son came up to me while I was at the computer desk the other day saying (in his most serious and concerned seven-year-old tone):

“Mom, could we please clean up this room? There are piles over here, piles over there and it just doesn’t look good. It looks terrible in here.”

Ha! Out of the mouths of babes. Even my son recognized the problem! I need my own office! I need file cabinets! I need shelves! I need my own room to work in! I need cute boxes and notebooks and colored file folders! We all agree on that! And once a seven-year-old is complaining about the lack of order and style, you know the time has come to take action.

So with that little nudge from my son, my dear, sweet, thoughtful husband took pity on his overworked wife and decided he would dive in on my behalf. While I was on a phone conference last night, he started in on my new office! We realized that this master suite project was a big undertaking, so it was best to break it up in to smaller more manageable chunks. The best place to start was with the room that would help me the most — my new office. No more dragging our feet. We just had to dive in and get going. And that he did (sorry, none of these photos are mine, technical difficulties are preventing a photo of the real room).

But here is the painful part.

Starting on my office meant taking apart our 19-year-old daughter’s bed and packing away her personal belongings.

There. I said it.

You see, my new office has been her bedroom for over four years. It is MY DAUGHTER’S BEDROOM I am stealing for my own convenience. I know this is a line parents are not supposed to cross. Never, EVER, dismantle a college age child’s room while they are living in a dorm. Isn’t that a rule? I think it is. You don’t want them to feel they don’t have a room to return to on school breaks. And I do want her to come home! I do! I miss her so while she is at school.

.

But, trust me, we’ve discussed this thoroughly with her and have promised to provide her with a new room. She completely understands and supports the re-purposing of her room on behalf of my business!

But agreeing on this didn’t make us feel good about it as the bed was dismantled. No, we didn’t feel good at all. We stood in the room without a bed and just looked at it. Little lumps grew in our throats and little tears were in our eyes. Visions of our little girl climbing into that now dismantled bed flooded our minds. She was just barely into her teens when she moved to this room. This was her little world! Was this symbolic of the end of her childhood? Were we pushing her out of the nest by taking over her room? Would she ever come back? Oh, I’m telling ya. Being a parent is rough. You always worry you are doing it wrong. And the milestones are so bittersweet.

Ok, so this project is a bit emotional for us. It is the right thing to do and we all agree that the change will be for the best. But that doesn’t stop the emotions when you see it happening.

Time is marching on and we can’t go back.

The good news is, if I can bear to think of it, is that I now have a space of my own to work with! Hip Hip Hooray! I am now dreaming of what the room will look like and how organized I will be! There will be file cabinets and shelves, a pine table and lamps and OH MY this will be such fun! That is what I am telling myself. Through my tears. Thanks for being a shoulder to cry on.

Now I am ready to find that new office furniture.

all photos from Cottage Living online