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Sometimes life is bittersweet. I don’t know how many of you cry your eyes out when you hear the song Butterfly Kisses, but I do. Maybe I’m overly sentimental, but I cry about this song as much as I cry over Father of the Bride movies. I’m a daughter, of course, but I am also the mom of two daughters. I would put the video here but it is restricted, so if you want to cry along with me (come on, I know some of you want to…), you can click here. Go ahead, I’ll wait…I’m listening to it myself right now, and tears are already falling in my keyboard.
When I hear “Butterfly Kisses” I shut my eyes and memories of my beautiful little girls run through my mind…
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes
And I thank God for all of the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all for…
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Stickin’ little white flowers all up in her hair
“Walk beside the pony Daddy, it’s my first ride
I know the cake looks funny Daddy but I sure tried”
It doesn’t matter if I am in an elevator, the grocery store or in the car, this song gets me every time. Big tears well up in my eyes, my lip starts quivering and my life as a mom flashes before my eyes… I see my little girls, their long eyelashes fluttering on mine as they kissed me goodnight, I see them giggling, riding ponies, dancing around in princess dresses, I can feel their chubby five year old arms wrapped tenderly around my neck, their soft cheek on my cheek, and suddenly in the blink of an eye they are 7, 8, 9, 10, 13, sweet sixteen…
Sweet sixteen today
And she’s lookin’ like her mamma a little more every day
One part woman, the other part girl
To perfume and make-up, from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world
But I remember…
Then comes the part of the song where I actually start wailing out loud…
She’ll change her name today
and she’ll make a promise and I’ll give her away
Standing in the bride room just staring at her
She asked me what I’m thinking and I said “I’m not sure,
I just feel like I’m losing my baby girl”
And she leaned over…and gave me…
Butterfly kisses with her mamma there
Stickin’ little white flowers all up in her hair
“Walk me down the aisle Daddy, it’s just about time
Does my wedding gown look pretty Daddy? Daddy don’t cry”
Right now, as I am listening to this part of the song, the words sink into my heart like never before because this August I will be seeing my little girl, my oldest daughter, walk down the aisle as (ok, choking back the big tears now) a beautiful bride.
There. I said it. My daughter is engaged. After four years of dating this young man, with our permission and blessing, he asked her to be his wife. Along with a beautiful ring, he presented her with the only flowers he has ever given her. He had told her when they started dating that he would only give flowers to the girl he was going to marry, and true to his commitment, the night he proposed he showered his bride-to-be with five dozen roses. He is a keeper.
She tried on wedding dresses last weekend (yes, I cried when they put a veil on her head) and as she stood up on the platform, some ladies gathered around her in awe, saying she looked just like a porcelain doll. She is a china doll. That was my baby up on the platform, wearing that veil, my first born, and I have to give her away. Life will change forever when she walks down that aisle. It will be bittersweet.
Truly, we are so happy for her, so proud of her, so pleased about her fiance and their plans. They are an amazing young couple. But I have to admit this is tough on her dad and me. Because we remember those butterfly kisses like they were only yesterday.
Stay tuned, I’m sure there will be more tears to come. But happy tears. Happy tears.
Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle
